Or: In Which Our Tree Enjoys a Refreshing Glass of Sprite*

You mean the tree is supposed to have things on it six days before Christmas? You people and your deadlines.
*Sprite because when we Googled tree preservative recipes it suggested a tad of chlorine-free bleach, caffeine-free lemon-lime soda, or epsom salts in addition to warm water. So we used all of the above.













